Helping a child who feels anxious about the 11+

Pressure is common, and manageable

Many children feel nervous about the 11+, especially if they sense how much it matters to the adults around them. The aim isn't to remove all nerves but to stop them taking over. If worry is severe or affecting sleep or wellbeing, talk to your child's school or your GP.

What helps

• Talk about effort and progress, not just scores or places.
• Keep sessions short and finish on something your child can do.
• Make it clear that a school place doesn't decide their worth or their future.
• Keep routines: sleep, play, exercise and downtime stay as protected as practice.
• Practise in the format of the real test, so nothing on the day is a surprise.

What to avoid

• Comparing your child with friends or siblings.
• Reacting to a low mock score as if it were a verdict.
• Letting practice crowd out everything else in the weeks before the exam.

Have a calm plan B

Talking early about the other schools you are applying to, and being positive about them, takes pressure off the test. Children do best when they know the family is behind them whatever the result.